ReMindEd   •   July 15, 2017

One of the most frequently asked existential questions I talk about with clients is often a why question. Why did this happen to me? Why am I here? Why would I trust anyone else? Why doesn’t this just get better on its own? Why would I stay?

Why? 

The why questions represent our need to know, to make sense of, to understand. If we could just work out the answer, it would stop the question, right? Any parent of a toddler knows answering the why questions with even a really good answer often just leads itself onto another why question. And these can go on all day! The point is, there’s always another why question. It will always take us to the same place. An unanswerable question. The reason for this is simple. We can’t work out all the answers. Why? We are just humans.

I was sitting in a neuropsychology lecture from a highly renowned expert in her field, who was speaking about her friend who was an even more highly renowned expert. Her friend runs the largest brain science clinic in the world, paid billions of dollars per year by the government to work out the human brain. His goal is to know enough about it to eventually be able to create a machine that has the same capacity as the human brain. The Dr at the seminar said this:

We currently understand about three per cent of the human brain’s capacity!

3%! From more than fifty years of dedicated study, scientific theories and research, billions of dollars and with access to all existing technology available: 3%!

My point is this: some questions can’t be answered. They are what I call unanswerable questions.

These are the ones that play on repeat at 2am, the ones that go around and around no matter how many times we try to answer it…because one answer gives way to another why question. And of course, the largest question is itself:

Why?

How do we find hope in this seemingly hopeless question that can’t be answered? My idea is this:

What if we didn’t try to find the answer to the why question but rather stop asking the question?!

If there is no actual answer, nothing that will satisfy the question, why not simply let go of the need to answer it. Maybe not every question needs to be asked.

Is there a more simple question we can answer that will stop the cycle of questions?

My answer is this:

Find your why…

Instead of focusing on all the unanswered, unanswerable questions, can we ask ourselves why do I need to know? Why is the question being asked? If there isn’t an answer, can I be okay with that?

Our mind thinks it’s important to know everything. To understand. To answer the questions. But if they become unhelpful, can we choose to let the question rest. Leave it unanswered. Be okay that the answer doesn’t matter. Or even further, that we may not have the answer now, but one day we may.

Can we be okay in the waiting?

In an instant society, with drive-thru, on-demand, play now, click to view, like, follow, comment, call now, it is hard to wait. To sit in the unknown. To just be. To be comfortable in the uncomfortable. It is a skill we can learn.
Like being brave.

That’s a choice, an action. It’s not a feeling. We can still feel afraid and yet choose brave.

To be brave is a choice or an action regardless of feeling afraid.

We need not wait until fear goes to be brave- in fact, that’s the reason there is more fear than brave in the world. And it’s not necessary. You can be brave now!

We all fight battles. There is always something we need to be brave in. But no where more than in our own mind. The internal world rages and never sleeps and is always a battlefield, fighting for our thoughts to control our emotions, beliefs, actions, feelings and ultimately, our life.

The last few months, we have promoted several campaigns on our social pages. #pleasestaytoday #mayyoustay #dothrough #MENtality and #loverevolution. It has been amazing to receive encouragement of people needing to be reminded of the worth of their lives. Please keep the awareness going. Like, share, engage. It may not be for you.

We never know the battles people in our worlds fight. It’s often the least likely person that is in the fight for their lives right now.

I have a mind that is ever-active, over-thinking and always asking questions. What I have written about today is as much a reminder to my mind as an encouragement to yours.

Unanswerable questions need not be answered. They need to be silenced.

One way to do that is find your why.

Not as another question to ask, but as one to answer the others.

Focus on the reasons you are still here.

Do the things that make you feel like you.

Do things that make you feel happy, make you smile, bring you joy.

Rest.

Have fun.

Go somewhere you love being at and just be there.

Stop asking the questions. Resolve yourself to them not needing answers and shift your focus. Think about the things you do have answers for, focus on the things you already understand.

Go to the things, places, people you know.

Sometimes things need to be fought for; Sometimes we need a break from the battle.

#mayyoustay

This was our largest campaign, which ran all through the month of May, and if my dream for it becomes realised, at some point it will be a national month like movember.

That’s one of my why’s. 

Life.

The value of life. The value of a single human being.

To stand with and fight for others who are fighting to stay.

My commitment is this: I will fight for you, for your loved ones, for anyone who wants to live but who is fighting their mind and the questions it asks. That’s my why. Find yours.

Standing for life.

Sal,

Reminded mind health clinic Manager.