ReMindEd   •   March 11, 2017

This morning I was awoken by my little Mr 5, sobbing and scrambling into my bed. “I had a bad dream”. It was ‘so bad’ that he wasn’t able to speak it out loud and stuttered each letter as he tried to tell me what had happened in it.

Before he was able to find the strength to speak, I tried to console him… “It’s okay mate. Bad dreams are not real. It’s just a bit of silliness. It didn’t mean it’s going to happen”.

“Yeah but it will happen”!

I knew now what the dream had been.

How much more difficult it is working with  people through the inevitables: change, grief and death.

It’s easier to ask an anxious someone to consider the ‘worst case scenarios’ for a moment, and find the resolve in the “even if it does happen, it will eventually be okay” response. Because it will eventually be okay…won’t it?!

Death is a more challenging concept to resolve, because even a five-year-old knows, it will happen. Unlike recovering from an addiction, sorting out a divorce, healing from a trauma, which can all be okay, death is final. There is a finality about death that often plagues us with thoughts of ‘it’ll never be restored because they are gone’.

In the early hours of this morning, I found myself tightly hugging my son as he went on to tell me that I had died in his dream. I had to change my response as I couldn’t say ‘that’ll never happen’ because we both know it will. Probably not in the way or timeframe he’d imagined that morning, but it will happen.

My response turned to our faith and beliefs in the after life, in assuring him I had no plans of going anywhere yet, and that it wasn’t a ‘heads up’ and didn’t mean it was going to happen soon. As I went on, I actually ended the conversation the same way I would to challenge any anxiety provoking thought:

Even when something as final as death happens, we will all be okay!

And with that he nodded, wiped his eyes and ran off to face the day. Unafraid. No longer anxious.

Was it just a fluffy, romanticised line to calm a crying child? For some who say it, perhaps. Not for me. Not for him.

When you speak your truth, your spirit responds with strength and conviction.

To my son and I, our truth, in this moment, was found to be our confidence in life after death and being reunited one day. My son just needed reminding of what he already believes. For some, we need to find a new truth that brings comfort to our now.

There is grace within truth which allows us to believe what we need to in this moment, in order to get to the next moment well.

And that about sums up how to do life: getting from one moment to the next well. 

My question for you today, has nothing to do with faith or questions of belief in that area – ‘phew’ you say! Here is my question:

How well are you doing in this moment?

The answer to that question, I have found, will determine how quickly you get through this moment into the next.

And how well is so often found to be related to what you believe as true. 

And not in the faith-based answers, although there is extensive research suggesting the connection between spirituality and success in terms of perceived happiness, but in the sense of your truth: what you believe about yourself, your worth, the way the world works, your perception of coping and strength, your meaningful connections, and in the practice of gratitude and contentment, to name a few. The core beliefs you have determine your outlook on life, how you see yourself and others, how you think (more so even than what you think), and what you feel, say and do.

I shall leave it there for today. I haven’t answered any of those bigger questions raised, after all, that’s your responsibility to answer for yourself your own questions and find your own answers.

It will all be okay!

Towards truth finding,

Sal

@remindedmind

#alwaysforfreedom

#bravenewyear